The Obvious...

I swear the thing about the obvious is that everybody or almost everybody sees it but maybe just maybe not everybody can say it, because it is obvious

It is lined up perfectly 

Because it is obvious

But it begs something which is obviously obvious whilst not yet being obvious obviously!

 

Something happened around me in such away I know it was something of someone obvious yet it has possibly morphed into something of someone doing what they do less obviously 

I was fine alert and awake

Then felt a very fine slight movement of air swipe from top left of my face and as if it was pull down to the bottom right of my face toward my jaw as a car emerged from the service station to merge with the flow of motorway traffic

But upon approach my thoughts turned to suddenly being filled with dread of being forced to feel drowsy when it is not what I am feeling really. Yet if you know a regular occurrence will occur it is obviously wise to be prepared but not so obvious to confirm that us an attacker lagging behind as they wait and gauge their approach which will leave being yanked and dragged and feeling battered just for doing the work you need which matters.

There are halls and corridors filled of those which suffer the most horrendous ills whilst causing the most cruel and dreadful skilled in appearance distracting their obvious inability to have any kind and healthy  intention 

Many visit and work with the Intention of healing and being kind

I was one of them at one point in time. But I was too immature to look back to see who would have seen me or noted me in my blind empathy to know what cruelty would do when kindness is shown. 

It is much more obvious now 

Because years of experience has forced me to wake up to the multiple tricks of distraction easily preyed upon whilst I try to prioritise my focus and attention

It is obvious

But it leaves an obvious thing

Something which leaves the obvious less obvious yet obviously present

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Natural Flowism 

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A Freedom of Being!

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Woke up remembering...

Though enjoying being in public places had been made uncomfortable 

I remember being just fine until that helicopter began rising and my mind and head began spinning with messages like: your not staying

Shouldn't you be going?

Today when I remember I hear things sentences like: ...and I went and paid him - the make things impossible payments

Now, i am not stating any facts or laying any claim to such payments existing or such action of being true!

I just remember feeling instantly unhappy with and without fully consciously realising or properly processing feelings of feeling violated and attempts at public humiliation whilst internally terrorized in public and in private!

They laughed

I have laughed

I know different laughs

Was so in pain

I laughed till others felt shame 

Learnt from the years I was laughed at beyond just feeling humiliated and I still grew up to laugh when young too immature to realise the illness excessive laughter can be and the long lasting negative effects it can sustain on certain vulnerable citizens.

They laughed

With beautiful white teeth smiles

On bended knee

Sporty

Were they real?

I was so steeped in spiritualism at the time

Looking back it feels like they were hiding somebody

Bad reputation 

Theres me living trying to get to normal by writing and eventually sharing my personal initmate diaries for my own self-healing only to find the years when I was under the age of consent below the age of a child sexually abused all those years where being used to again abuse me for being loose!

Yes as an adult you have your responsibility to take and decisions to make

But I will write again

It takes years to wake up and become knowing and strong when abuse has been relentlessly maintained by abusers who cannot heal or run from what they have done

That pond

Those ducks

Those swans

The stories they must be able tell

The Gardens

The Park

Still to this day has been the everyday get out 

In my younger days it was where I thought I had dreamt up a freer life 

Away from religious restrictions

It was where speakers spoke

And hippies often shared kisses

The park is where I would go heartbroken by exes and career choices and job loses frustrated by my own lack 

Sit witless be approached by male stranger and end up experiencing chewing gum kisses 

Left me feeling completely insulted and down graded nothing romantic 

Each and every time

No love

Unexpected liaisons I still hadn't learnt to avoid!

The lushness of nature shaped into a park

The perils of the abused as they try to learn how to find the level of love they need for their own hearts to heal!

Especially when so often Love is confused as sex lust and desire

As though as easy as looking at flowers to attain

In peace I remember this refrain

But a little voice says to me...you should have gone back to sleep until you could get up without remembering anything!

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Waking Up feeling...

Corrected Version

Too many years stolen stuck thinking

Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions 

Too many years spent being followed everyday

By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!

A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change 

Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain

The people want

The people need

The people read

But are the people all good

Or are they sick with greed or wrong needs?

Are the people injured 

Or full of dis-ease 

About what they think they need or want to see or read?

So why feed?

Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen

Though thankfully some good and informative information has been chosen

Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons 

A stalker is a stalker

Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours

Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!

Because sooner or later

A person with such behaviours

Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!

 

Too much time....

&

Too many years.... 

Thank God they sat there saying 

Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing

There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings

Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Unedited Version

Too many years stolen stuck thinking

Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions 

Too many years spent being followed everyday

By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!

A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change 

Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain

The people want

The people need

The people read

But are the people or good

Or they sick with greed or wrong needs?

Are the people injured 

Or full of dis-ease 

About what they think they need or want to see or read?

So why feed?

Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen

Though some good and informative information has been chosen

Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons 

A stalker is a stalker

Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours

Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!

Because sooner or later

A person with such behaviours

Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!

 

Too much time....

&

Too many years.... 

Thank God they sat they saying 

Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing

There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings

Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Freedom and Love Thankfully Grateful not because you have lied something else means you cannot fully say!

I am so Thankfully Grateful and Blessed as I Repent and Surrender to the Forgiveness Purpose and Power Life is!

Every time I look around

Someone is affected

Even by not being affected 

Some how even that is connected

This morning gratefully I woke up and asked myself what haven't you been saying or writing?

For me 

I have taken my creatively written self-healung everywhere I think it should go

From love to hate

From kindness to wickedness and back again to freedom and love

But you know even though I have shared and created so much in as much honesty as I can

The truth is alot of what I have written about still has lengths and miles of things I would really like to say but feel I cannot

It is as much as I can do

Is to get some parts of it out of my system each day week or month etc

But when I really ask myself is that everything I was even surprised by myself when the answer was no!

As complaining as I feel I have been forced to be. Something is still tellung me I have not complained or advised appropriately to possibly affect a change in situations which have deeply changed and sadly even affected the way of my being.

All of that at times feels like a danger almost lurks beneath after years of being mistaken for possibly being somebody else or by anothers perception of who you really are.

It is sad but true among the wrong mindset speaking about the way you respond to life and others can mean the difference of someone believing they can blame you for all wrong doing without feeling any shame or responsibility about their own behaviour.

Self Awareness

Self Searching

Self Healing

Is not a freedom for all to blame you because you can look at your own behaviours actions reactions and responses and own them.

Responding to this mornings wake up call which very gently and lovingly ask me to search myself and at least know that as much time that is given sharing must for me personally hold the realisation of what is not being written from the total depth of my being. The really crux that would more than likely pull the feeling of disappearing moments and lost days into the open where they belong to be dealt with properly to the point they will not continually return to consistently haunt me.

I have put enough on myself to achieve change and turn around in my own private world. I must admit I have been ill prepared for how my own private energy goals and desires would connect or manifest externally. 

Through anyone person we see or feel one of lifes blessings and challenges is to know and learn if what we see or if what we are told is in the proportion to the real truth if it were ever told.

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Freedom and Love!

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The Unknown iRate Detective interrupts a form of prayer!

Dear God

A mind seems stuck on returning to thoughts of someone it has never known, why?

"Because it was supposed" TUiD interrupts a time of prayer

It is known there is a diagnosis but diagnosis is not felt as a diagnosis yet within that also is a diagnosis that begs the question as to how can freedom be obtain from such a diagnosis?

Filled ego and diagnosis wax lyrical about no love as they cry in heartbreak of all they cannot any longer see or feel

We remain together in a refrain where never the twain shall meet or be seen 

We never existed 

Yet we feel but not yet freely

For we are trapped above and from beneath

Yet we are not linked except some tries to perceive a link as a result of a diagnosis at which time they will perceive to unify things and people where absolutely none could ever exist!

"Get in your stalker bit or should I say?" TUiD

Silence

"Ok...then....heres the odd bits she turns up again like a sideways canter who is it?...fuck knows....that last time it was the sideways canter to waving card board opposite the airport on the A40 seemed like a replica outfit from time spent delivering on the back of a Class 2 in 2002 called to a job last minute.  What is the need for all this can't say feckry? They are people being sucked into behind the scenes of things they want nothing to do with. They mean no harm they just want to pick up and keep moving on but...maybe all of this leads back to the old days when there were fewer nosey people asking to see into this and that and those that did get involved knew what they were getting involved in because it was what they wanted or it was who they fell in love with!  It was about less sick people allowed to pretend they were in love because true love does not produced statics of domestic violence or other abuses....to fuck this blud clart got everybody out...and thats the same for the cuntavirus who sets up shop only around the low paid...back in the day they used to put you through yah money and you have only just got paid. Because the flipping cunt used to be thinking up ways of how you could spend yah money before you even left your work on pay day.... thought of how many rounds of cups of tea you should buy everytime somebody does something on the same job they are already getting paid to do, then just to keep your wages you have got to be able outwit and get passed the market stall of things to buy before you get home to yah partner and kids with nothing left for food and bills...i tell yah back in the day they had you set up proper...and if you dare walked passed their pub where they had all their beers on tab you'd get laughed into the ground for being too tight...it was though you and your family meant nothing!" TUiD

Dear Father

We pray for the strength to find a healthy way out of out diagnoses cuntavirus and otherwise or stupid!

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Somewhere in this Love is Freedom and Bliss!

Ever heard of them that can become so jealous in their behaviour toward you that dare you mention abuse or your feelings from their abuse anything said or done will only ever be ruinous to the point of to have any compassion or understanding for someone who had become so poisoned it eventually becomes safer to show yourself as feeling nothing for them at all, it is an unimaginable state of relationship to ever have to face

I wake up gratefully in what feels like a dual heartbreak. The impossibility  of love reminds me of where my life first began

As I wake thankful and grateful for my life I feel like my head is in a bind and turn to cleansing meditations for a sick home to cleanse the water and to clean and protect the third eye psychically 

I never grew up knowing or understanding anything about third eye, the chakra system, meditation despite going to church and learning to pray.  The first worldly thing that captured my imagination as an alternative form of guidance other than the God and the Bible was astrology and astrologers. I lived in years of guilt and fear as I became hooked on their guidance beginning  the journey from child rape survivor into a woman hoping to find love not realising all I will eventually do is meet no mutual love at all. Passing fancy. Forced proclamations of Love but in the true sense of it all nothing except the greatest love of all that I too found within me and Motherhood

I didn't realise that in deciding to share my inner world thoughts and feelings that work would be listed as critical. It certainly is not how I see myself or what I do but I woke on the  afternoon somehow feeling like I had broke new ground

Women become men to fulfil themselves or for the varying reasons necessary some sadly so they can continue the abuse against women and vice versa though this is not fully true or comprehensive it comes to me again and again even though I would prefer to find alternative breakthroughs from an ongoing truth of abuse I don't quite know what including that here is supposed to be about, or do if anything at all

That world which says its all on you

That diagnosis which says it must be you 

Because those who suffer from it are too weak to release you or be truly released or free

The guilt of someone who could do nothing more than try to use me and keep me trapped in their need to distract from what really creates happy

The years of someone elses innate fear that made sure they were here there and everywhere to make sure there was no one else I could tell or nowhere I could go to escape their guilty need for control

It has been an all out terror of those screaming the truth on an everyday wage which cannot compare to the investment made to silence those screams till they dissipate, all of this has never just been about me you suffer if you cannot love or heal though it may not seem so in the presence of the ego and its bravardo

Underneath for those of us who continue to live normally adjusting to what circumstances maybe we understanding that is what true freedom and bliss even as we are forced to watch the plans of cruelty and wickedness trying to be free without any independence of you and me

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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Who Started a War between Men and Women and Why? TUiD is in pissed off coarse work!

If you could imagine....

"What?" TUiD

.... being surrounded by people who are convinced they are doing good so far removed from the reality of the oppression they issued!

I could 

I could imagine it because I am the one living it

"Oh fuck off and shut up!"  TUiD

Nobody acknowledges or says anything about the repressed lesbians forced to be married to who could never care or give a shit about them because after all this is all happening behind a religion

"Is it?"TUiD

The sexually repressed deviant and the oppressed are all favoured as the Godly as the undercover police officers attend each divine service unnoticed!

Insane and incessant beatings follow in the homes of church goers where finally the truth about the reality of the criminal attendees is unearth whilst some escape claiming a need to be preying upon those driving for a living

They keep up good jobs and successful businesses behind the misery they have created as they stalk other church goers

...and it all comes out again as though i cannot write anything different!

To be able to freely think is right except when you chose to be part of cult of some other division which being a driver isn't except for the stalker who has tried to cruely control everybody. Who has tried to remove any importance from rape and remove the stigma from incest so again one part of society can be raped and abused be taken for granted by anybody and anything without their permission! Then the same stalker in another incident joins protests about systemic racism chauvinism and the same kind of systematic abuse they have issued!

People....no.... 

....it is not just people because there is a certain kind violence that resides in a certain body which appears to be a person but unfortunately eventually they can only ever be identified as a complete disorder and an enemy!

The right to think freely?

I pray there is no question mark really 

Because I knew I was attacked so intimately

Attacked on purpose

Of all the good and great things we can do with our lives

But it is has been the consistent need to ride or drive pass

To consider all who truly cannot communicate

Debilitated by the one stuck on using inside power to cause unnecessary misery 

Life made worse because of the willingness to let go and survive

The longer they were not stopped the deeper and greater the prison they created for those deemed unwilling to obey their cruel sickness which convinced some people  they had to be in control of everybody

It wasn't enough to stay away

They replicated the faces of the ones they targeted

So intent on their last will in testament

They fight knockout each other out Then set the lie around those who supposedly never knew but whose life eventually became so infected because of questions of unanswered

Clairaudience which whispered in the last week of September 2020 and beginning of October 2020 for me to say: Remember I'm in Vietnam...same quiet voice also says...act of God.....

From who and for who it is- it is not known

Too schooled to know or be true

But to set up a constant presence around someone to destroy their natural ability to think for themselves to do that what on earth can such a diagnosis know?

A careful calculation

If what you think about comes about then only a stalker can believe that their wish will be fulfilled but there is much more to attraction than that everything must align and not have an adverse vibration which indicates you are being forced against your own will - because if it does the 'against" will be what aligns to the vibration which will show up as a negative and attract!

The vibration has to be equally permissive for an all out ongoing positive result. 

Since neutral and natural law responds to the most predominant thought...one person being coercive and manipulative forcing a another person to sit in possessive traumatic oppression due their presence.... will be sending an adverse energy to the universe which will create more of the same, correct?

A lot of frustrated church goers and frustrated women who were desperate to marry who didn't know about hes gay and hes going to stay that way and worship just the same!

"Oh give me a break this ain't even real...what a load of shit you have written who cares?"

TUiD stars in....to not cast dispersions - The Coarse Work is...what is missing from that which will be whole?

The following is scary because it may sound condesending when it is not meant too...

Coarse Work example only: context is: unwanted sexual behaviours that disturb harm and abuse otherwise normal relations between people and the ability to meet someone naturally and naturally grow in love lets just say someone dyslexic or something else similar to that or in that field of challenges or within the same context of perception and ability...person is functional and intelligent but can they fully perceive the variation of  'marketing' antics of the sex industry  puts out to be able to avoid it to discern and a relationship which has intimacy?

They are young and vulnerable yet they function as rough and tumble

Sometimes blinded by their visual identities and the appearance and visual identity and wealth of others...but for the truth is it among them all?

But it is sexual

And they are looking

When your not looking

There is someone checking that you are looking

Did she look?

Here's the game...so you get 1 point if she looks at a girl....ah...and yes someone is developing danger and is stuck on creating a game plan...and its like shouting out loud from behind glass 

Sound proofed glass!

Creatively you say it

Therapeutically you need the reprieve and relief from it

But then there is a terror which begins to build up

If it builds up in you it will make you sick

Then you think.....suppose it triggers shit?

Then you eventually let go and hope

Because you just dont have it

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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TUiD's busy inbetween phone hackers & re-writters another aspect of the case has been discovered...

...Thursday seems to be the pimps renewal...but there is nothing to get excited about because it means abuse!

Phones are currently heated and at the ready as the re-writers hack in....

Without Excuses

Without Reason

Without Success

Its been like screaming from behind glass

Glass which is sound proofed! 

They lure

They walk with children as if almost like cattle

Dressed up in bravado

The pain of exposure and rape allowed to look over and control so many?!

No gender bias

Just the effects of assault and rage

From blatancy to secrecy

Too well honed and accepted in society

Pimping is no longer just street selling and sex trafficking 

It is the trolls and the jealous partners

Who have never met you

Who become convinced they can match make you without your consent

It all melts into this one vibe of Thursday being the pimps day and night out?

Underwhich one man is believed to have been found to have been kind whilst having beaten an assault much of womankind

Has merged gangs and crime into the best of society and working life but not without an unrelenting hold on what he believes to be his families world?

Not much Coarse Worl here as something needed to tie us back into finishing the blogs about incest...in the random ongoing game of blame vin = ven = vill = vi!

When you do not even need to mix or have anything to do with the sex trade but you can be singled out as a clients wish!

Then find yourself as marked territory against your own will and permission!

Woe betide you if they can pay to have stalked all day

Watched in every which way

Not necessarily because of theie money or fame

No more randomly

Without Excuses

Without Reason

Without Sensitivity 

Without Success

Things built up to no a veil

Much attention

Vibes and what feels like things are being built up

Only for the cruelty of dis-ease and injury to be the be all and end all of everything happening

...and to come again to this thing called Thurdays.....pimps night or day merged or on own territory....it is not to be a judge or a prude for everybody needs to make their money but when it crosses the line into a space and time not designed for such ongoing psychology damage anyway but for that attack to also be of a sexual nature hypnotically pulled and picked on "air pressure" energy projection techniques which can violate you expose you leave you feeling physically uncomfortable and emotionally and spiritually distarught and destroyed then you must be dealing higher up the more dangerous ends of personality disorders?

Even families getting on the pimps treadmill

Estranged but this is the guy the family preferred best....and you don't even know him....years of distress!

Though none of this may be true to offload your day in writing is one of the best ways to heal your brain

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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