Should
I Have Published my Private Works?
Q&A
Good
Morning, Lavinia lets get started. You had quite an out pouring over the
weekend what was going on there? Was it planned?
Lavinia: No…
actually not all was planned…..some of it was!
So….it was
more about just releasing trauma? Stress?
Lavinia:
Yes, it really was it just flows out because I’m open to it
Why take so
much time to write so much with a book unfinished?
Lavinia: I
do not want the book to get too bog down or distracted by this stuff. Whilst
even with the book I have most of the direction by now. I just wasn’t
completely ready to delve into it despite protestations.
….and
unfinished?
Lavinia: it
allows the reader to see my state of mind. What I observe…what I leave
behind…for me it is the bravery? Courage? The strength to be as I am with no pretense!
…and that
is important to you is….why so?
Lavinia:
because abuse lies!
Ok we’ll be
back with Lavinia later….Lavinia publish will you…ta!
Welcome
back to this Q&A session with Artist Poet Owner and Founder of Natural
Flowism Ltd Lavinia De Ayr!
Should you
have Published your own Private Works?
Lavinia: Umm…for
me…I was in a fix…this wasn’t just about being followed down the road. This was
or at least felt like a second time around stalkers campaign…
…or was it…considering…do
you not think by now somebody else had surfaced who unbeknowest to you may have
been botheration to you all along?
Lavinia: I
do wonder that now. I also wonder why I would yet again have to be and feel
abused as a result? And in fact by last night…
…the third
of October twenty - twenty one…
Lavinia: …I had come to the conclusion that all this
surround sound so to speak has everything to do with the original stalker. The
level of possessiveness. Once it gets to the stage where a stalker gains enough
access to their target that they can organize everyone’s conversation around them…and
worst of all almost control things to the point….if true of course….but if a
stalker is so dangerous and many of them are that they can energetically
manipulate negative energy toward two people deliberately pitting them against
each other…
…is this
referring to the Friday argument? What do think the significance of segmented
fruit is?
Lavinia: yeah….mmm….i
used to find it really strange when it was really intense that almost every Friday
there was something done to affect energy that would bring about an argument of
some sort. But, for some reason I also knew it was all very suspicious….
…in what
years that particular antic so intense do you remember when?
Lavinia: ….during
2009 toward about 2012ish. But once I began to realise what was being done I tried
my best to abate any conflict. What I still hadn’t learnt was enough about energy
being deliberately being projected in toward you or about beíng used or more
likely abused as a gauge or barometer of sorts!
Hmmmm…segmented
fruit?
Lavinia:…mmmm….the
only thing I have been thinking about recently is….if you look at a company through
a “pie” chart. If you analyze each segment and find that the area of employment shown in the “pie” chart is the
smallest…the thinniest slice does that signify exploitation of a work force?
Which nay result in Poorly performing work force? Does it signify an abusive/sick minded
leader? Or does it signify a lack of experience and know how in leadership? Or
poor quality produce or in other areas
of a business or even a country as a whole?
So…from
what you are asking I dare to presume is how clear is the evidence of abuse and
human rights issues in the face of possible abuse? How much ready evidence is being
ignored?
When we
come back Lavinia will answer more questions about decision to publish her
private works!
Welcome
Back!
Lavinia, lets
talk about how you feel about the reaction to your work…do you think or know about
the feedback from others? How has it been since turning yourself into a self –
publishing author and editor?
Lavinia: ….Hmmm….its
has been strenuous to say the least. My Attention Deficit Disorder has surfaced
that’s for sure. Yet, overall, the experience has been cathartic…I wouldn’t be
without it.
Hmmmm….
Lavinia: I
think more recently another wave of reaction has been stirred with further abusive
and more over queries. What looks like some very abusive characters with little
decorum about them.
Ooops! Your
writings ended yesterday with diary entries as you caught up on weeks gone by. What was your study behind those works?
Lavinia:
ummm….there has a change in the “tone” so to speak of what has been going on.
As the
artist and poet what are you finding in that “tone” so to speak especially as a
writer of ‘abuse in a family context’ and of ‘stalking’ does your choice of
subject affect the reaction toward you? What do you think?
Lavinia:
right out the gate a big Yes! Subject choice is a major factor in how you will
be received! Think about it….there will never be a right time or thing to say
when it comes to a stalker or an abuser in your family often the two overlap.
So, how popular can you become. You can’t and will never be loved or popular if
you are from a family of abusers who cannot get well soon or get better full
stop! Spite is one of the longest running forms of abuse from either side. I am
still struggling with myself on a moment to moment basis whilst under attack not
to react or retaliate in spite even whilst being “spited”.
Have
relationships been affected or destroyed out right?
Lavinia:
trust me I don’t even want to go there because nothing is pure!
What on
earth do you mean by that?
Lavinia: All
I can say is: in any abusive or conflict
situation every human is better off learning the difference between a pure and
true loving bond and trauma bonding?
Oh…I get
it. So it is to grow in the awareness to know when you are forming a bond with
someone of your own choice rather with someone due to an enforced situation. So
try and get to know yourself better and choose rather than presume?
Lavinia:
Yes. That is what I meant by nothing is pure!
Thank you
for staying with us. We will regroup and return at a later point in time!
Talk to me
about the XLR experience….you had mentioned many times about “energetic
manipulation” feeling deliberately ‘pitted” against a loved one. As I
understand it an incident occurred…and…what happened finish it off quickly
before you get your head down again…
Lavinia: …think
I was somewhere up north but driving back down South…think I was on the M6? Anyway
a white car was emerging onto the slip road…
…on your
left side?
Lavinia: …yes…and
as the car came level with me I felt this force of pressure from the direction
of this driver in this white hatch back car….literally felt like I had been
punched out….as in literally knocked out but only as that car emerged. As
normal I had been fined and undisturbed up until the moment that white golf ball
emerged.
So…what
exactly happened? Did you become nauseous?
Lavinia: no
not exactly. I had had a really good sleep which always helps when up against
such attacks. What happened is I remained conscious through out the experience.
I seen the car. I felt and observed the impact it all happened in a split second.
As the pressure hit by my temples I felt like my brain shuddered but I also
noted that my mind nearly went blank and I almost started questioning where I
was….
…so you would
have lost consciousness and become completely disorientated whilst driving a
heavy goods vehicle down the motorway. I mean sounds unbelievable to be fate
but the truth county drug lord’s and their gangs and prostitution have become rife
increasing in activity and antics along the motorways!
Lavinia: so
I wonder if they are the incessantly flicking their lights a me every time they
come past me?
Or it is
camera operation language? You mentioned earlier something abound new
characters in the area. Understandably, everywhere changes over time, right?
How much of what you are seeing is now just because you are an artist?
Lavinia: I’m
still so deeply challenged and focused on the work that I pay little attention
to all that. I cannot pretend to understand what my art writings or dare I say “teachings”
are to other people.
Is it like a
drug dealer taking his or her own load when you meet people who respond to you
as if your work is still present?
Lavinia: so…ok…the
whole point of self – healing work for me is to process what sticks for me….as I
see it…which does not necessarily relate or prove that is exactly what something
is or how it was intended to be.
….you are processing
your own perceptions?
Lavinia:
Yes!
Do you think
that it is possible that what you deem as nosey can be speculators of your
success or maybe even collectors investigating your works or hiring
investigators to check you out?
Lavinia: to
be honest I do not know. But at times it can feel like that. I have a feeling
of being tested and gauged to see what I include or exclude and possibly how
long it takes me to respond that way?
Ok Thank
You Lavinia.
Today we
have been visiting with Artist Lavinia De Ayr!
We hope you
have enjoyed this fine example of self-examination
Thank You
Hope you
enjoyed this #selfhealing session
Take Care
of Yourselves
Stay Safe
Blessings
from @naturalflowismstudios
^
Many Thanks
^
Natural
Flowism
^
A Freedom
of Being!
^
No comments:
Post a Comment