Wasted to many years just thinking!
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Probably the best thing you can tell the universe is, i do not know how!
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Possibly one of the biggest health lessons from the universe is with what kind of thinking!
Its a big one which takes some soul searching to get done!
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Has the meteorite arrived?
As what sounds like nosey garden dwellers prey on the thoughts in the mind?
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A bunch of women tried to turn man to get away with their crimes
Leaving in their wake confusion and feelings of falsehood of some kind!
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Has the meteorite arrived?
As my mind still twists and turns painfully on what and why?
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I hate to admit it
I have hated to admit it
Even though to some it maybe clear to see or feel
But part of the catalogue of errors left within me after a life time of trying to self-heal from abuses (because the wrong type therapist can leave you with even more damages to overcome) is: intrusive unwanted thoughts!
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i've always known im an empty head so to speak!
The problem came again or really became noticeable to me yet again in 2003.
Wool pulled over the eyes saw me afflicted with rotary thought yet again an adverse effect for turning up and working but a bad decision had been made on my part due to few good available choices on the path I had chosen...but today it appears somebody lay hidden seen or known by everybody else....but not by me as i was too busy concentrating on Motherhood not somebody who stood by somebody else imfamously or famously. I was sadly too deep in debt with the costs of lone parenting to be bothered about another delinquent who just could get over another possible person sick with promiscuity and too ill with the sick and violating treatment of others and the inability to say no to their own damage worst of all whilst reminiscing on my name whilst seeing me, my life, my child’s life as something to speak of with hatred; condescension and the most degrading of shame! Had i moved beyond the events of primary school again! As today my life feels like constant intimidation of obsessed nosiness from queues at the chemist to home intruders and ongoing trespass of years gone by. Admittedly, I moved from abuses without many people being told why but now it has been more than 30 years gone by and something has unsettled everything and everyone!
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Why didn't “we” as society not set up effective filter programs: infant from home to nursery checked for possible parental/caregiver/guardian damage?
From: nursery to primary thorough checked for possible repair and training and treatment....and so on and so on right the way up through the system of education wouldn't society in general be irrevocably changed? Would their be less crime and suffering because so much behaviour and other problems will be detected earlier on? Wouldn't many of us be less targeted by the sensitive or bully in the class room coming back or resurfacing in our lives because suffering from what we did we laughed wrong at the wrong moment but then moved on only to find we are being dragged kicked and punched so to speak back to schools playgrounds? The nosey ones who went on to become the best spies forever poking around in the background of your life...what on earth would they feel like? But what does any of that if true amount too?
Evidently, something very bad has gone on?
Sadly, there is little or nothing you can do if someone from your family or school went on to do something so cruel to someone or just in society in general....everyone on every side would be at a loss and full of the effects of damage from whatever was done!
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But investigations haven't stopped around me. From night to day the presence is like the effects of no holidays....as someone keeps on calling me name amongst them...we grew up as a family accused, if true, despite all we had been put through!
Just wanting to do ordinary just wouldn't do because the unwanted finds you!
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Frim dashing detectives, doctirs and nurses, law enforcement's personnel...yes...yes....something else happened....oh yes....in 2006-2007. A clairaudient voice used to shout at me more in East London than anywhere else.....fawn....fawn....could i understand why? No...i moved on with my life....fawn your fawn at times....did i know why.....no i got here in 2014 and got on with my life......fawn...fawn until you know why....even sounding like “your fawn" at times!
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But what do we with this life?
Try to get on with it night after night
As murderers remain useful to those filled with hate and spite
What chances do you have when coming from families which become legally mixed?
When the same things keep happening in an almost identical matter in tw0 separate locations?
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Back in the day in large familes trying to survive a kid was given to a kid to help ease pressure so they could play together and look after each other.
Well, I suffered from being a very possessive child....abused....i didn't know those kids weren't mine! So much I had never understood, much remained unexplained whilst been battered essentially for coping with all your injuries. I didn't understand who these kids were or that they weren't mine until i became independent of what went on.
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Cried all day like my life seems to be still crying today
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....as i sit down...as i go through this with what type or kind of thinking?
Have you ever asked your self especially when you all the decision you made led you into a complete and utter mess... how was your life supposed to turn out?
Don't think i ever did until
recently as my life became blighted by a lot of unwanted attention!
Is that a pointless question or a good question to ask yourself when trying to build a better life for yourself?
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How much less would any of us have suffered if we were properly filtered for want of a better word, and not just heaped into a pile which deemed us all as delinquents setting the scene for ongoing addiction to revenge instead of adequate treatment for: self-respect, addiction to destruction of the self and others, possible or “ likely” ADD, self-esteem, self-confidence, and the most important one... correct and accurate perception of ourselves, and other people, and perceived circumstances, and perceived challenges?
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With what type of thinking was the abuses forced upon us not seen in wider society?
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With what type or kind of thinkg was justice almost impossible to find or negoitate once found?
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With what type of thinking are we creating? Living? Chosing? Negating? Ignoring? Or paying attention? Or paying attention but ignoring putting the eggs in socitey at the top of basket?
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People with what?
Are doing what?
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Beíng!
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#laviniadeayr
