Wednesday, 8 September 2021

Faces in the Crowd?

I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent and surrender to the forgiveness purpose and power life is!
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Is the pre 60's stalker back?
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How many of our parents were stalked back in the day long before to stalk a person was properly recognised for what it is...parents who would have lived and died without ever realising the full effect of the danger they were potentially in, and the full extent that would have on generation after.generation? 
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For about 6 months clairaudiently or telepathically or whatever way you want to call it I have repetitively heard inside my ears "She's a nurse!" "She's a nurse!"
Well! Yes she was! My late Mother God Love and Bless her soul worked as a nurse. I distinctly remember mention of a man that used to follow her down the road in the early hours singing her name. Back then it sounded like an hilarious folk tale and tail!
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Waking up to calls about further fraud attempts on my account, something went off in my head which triggered a series of thoughts!
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I dare to include my thoughtfilled findings as the following: suppose a stalker goes on to become a killer intentionally or otherwise? (whisked off never to be seen again does not mean a successful audition!) Did that pre-70's stalker stop or carry on attacking us all as a family without any of us ever knowing how to understand why the root of ongoing problems had occurred?
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Recently, for the purpose of my own self healing I decided to make a distinction in my own mind about how and why my feeling thoughts and memory were or had becoming unwilling attached to certain people or the memory of them. It can be an incredibly painful exercise all around. But it can also help with detachment/feelings of abandment/re-alignment of self to attract who you really want in an all round healthy way. 

If a distinction can be made between who you essentially had to mix with like: people who were your parents people. People you had to go to school with live or work with it may help you make better relationship based on who you truly are rather than power other than yourself.
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 In really positive cases your parents friends school work church can all be really great jumping off points for life long mutually faithful loyal friendships or even relationships. But what happens when that is not the case because unbeknownst to you a stalker has been winding you up and grinding you down since the first year you were able to put your feet on the ground or first moved to a new country and it takes you 55 + years to ask who really had the influence over your life?
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People you thought were your parents friends or friends of the family who turned out to predators secretly preying on all you had it have as you try to come to terms with and manage possible areas of brain damage, spiritual and emotional strain and damage? Untold things and negative effects and other damages if let's just someone had not been allowed to continue to develop a very unhealthy potentionally dangerous very long term "interest" in somebody else.
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There are many cases where by a stalker just moves on. Thankfully!
But in some cases where a stalker moves on it is worth asking into what variant and has that variant been passed through the generation of that person's family, friends, and community?
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Faces in Crowd?
It's one thing to board ship
Take up on opportunity in far flung region to where you would normally be...But in the grander scheme thinking about what triggered this blog into being it occurred to me that an opportunity to live in new found land does not always change a person's behaviour. Whilst brutal experiences of what is socially not clinically but socially or politically  termed as racial violence came out of silence making it into media books need and film. Thinking of my own experience as a survivor of childhood incest rape. How many unheard rape experiences have there been and would that trigger one family to stalk another?
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The confusion is beyond painful believe you me. The possible level of power that may hold all the answers feels more than just burdensome! To never know which can mean generations of abusive relationships, enforced addictions and crime, whilst we are responsible for how we respond some account has to be taken when innocents are born into years duress due to things never been truthfully told and important information beung withheld or the importance of which never truly known? But at the end of the day the truth is stalkers are more than likely to be obsessed with control and for young couples back in the day and even today striving to get ahead and maintain mortgages and leave something valuable behind for their children with a stalker in tow means everything they are trying could possibly if allowed to be may be under some kind of attempted threat due to the illness of one that may have affected or controlled many others?
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Natural Flowism 
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A Freedom of Being! 
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Thursday, 19 August 2021

iNbetween Fanaticism-Dry Stale List of insecurities and of Course typical same old Questions!

A lot of people are going out looking for love without clinical or  medical training then finding they are married to a person’s too far gone illness which they are ill prepared for and incapable of treating kindly, well, or compassionately!
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Vice Versa
Man sees woman unattached he starts weighing up his options instead of learning who she is? Where she is really at in her life? What and who she really wants out of life or in her life? What her true intentions are? Most important who is she genuinely and truthfully emotionally attached too and what she is emotionally attached too? And what new emotional attachments is she willing to accept?
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He still loves and adores an occasional girlfriend he met years ago, it’s over but they still speak everyday and her husband is cool with that? He reminisces all the time about their time together: is he homesick? Feeling very insecure and inadequate and underappreciated  with the person he is in an intimate relationship with now? Or is he just stirring his own shit? Or trying to cause a situation which will get somebody else stalked? Because he derives a sick pleasure from it? Or is he displaying hidden reactions and feelings which betray the possibilities of him feeling he was manipulated-sleighted-belittled-pressured-taken for granted-bossed around-forced and coerced into a relationship and then marriage and then kids without his express permission?
What on earth crumbled his boundaries in the first place?
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Its tiresome my love But seriously I can’t be with you anymore! 
Mysteriously man just can’t leave! Just can't get out of the house/family home or property door, and can no longer live unhindered or unattached from who and what he no longer chooses, why?
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He can never leave!
He has no more choice!
Was he stalked into the marriage?
Or is man still under the influence of all his abusers behaviours?
Is he expected to be so conditioned that he is expected to accept such restrictive inhibiting behaviours as traditionally normal marriage behaviours?
Or is holding a person against their will supposed to be automatically acceptable when it comes to old time traditions or truths of marriage or just in relationships per say?
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What is the best way...for the GOOD of all concerned..to get someone to take responsibility for themselves and others?
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Is it to assume they automatically have  the capacity?
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Or is it each of our individual responsibility to learn our own capacity and capabilities for each scenario we choose or each scenario which we do not choose but that comes up for us anyway  in our lives. Is it each well persons responsibility to learn and grow the capacity and resources to be able to deal with all the possible consequences for  each moment we are alive?
Who is responsible for those not well enough? Where do we look to find out who does and who does have the capacity to take responsibility for themselves and others?
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Its a Sleepy Sunday I put on soft wool and eat cold ice cream yes cold ice cream...its a bit of a chuckle chuckle but it is because  I miss him!
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Something about life recently seems so one upping insensitive evil even competitive to the ugliest of extremes. Life just has not been feeling like our love any more, which always included everything. We always made space for everything about each other but it just felt gone. Yet I visualized us all day long his head buried in my chest . Envisaged him never wanting to.leave me nor I him. I hate to miss him. I like to live with trust knowing he’ll come back and we will continue but not from where we left off because of course those moments are gone!
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From LHR to GLA and all the fallout inbetween a teacher is born every minute especially when you follow and search clairaudiently!
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Check out my unfinished book in progress at Amazon KDP: Fanatiscism: ASIN:B096C6862R
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Tuesday, 17 August 2021

iNbetween Fantascism - For Freedom Sake!

Dear Father God!
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I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent and surrender to the forgiveness purpose and power life is!
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In  all that infinite wisdom!
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Loose us this day (as I have so learnt to say)from the Angel of Death!
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Every bank and banker loose them from the Angel of Death!
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Every stock exchange and root of all monies loose it and them from the Angel of Death right now!
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Loose this globe called earth from the Angel of Death from the perceptions created everywhere loose us now from it!
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From every death created by the power of thought invested in us all that was unwittingly formed into strength and empowerment and imagery thought belief perception and manifestation that led every nation to believe their should be decay and therefore death right back before the time of the perception known as Christ and the back to the moment creation began where it was believed death should be? loose us loose me now! this day! this moment! this time! from it now!
This script!
This poem!
This prayer maybe deemed as arrogant! Stupid! Cruel! Unnecessary! to be heeded or  needed or not needed! but dear God by the brain power and mentality invested in me I surrender this version to thee and beyond with thee! That the thought form or perception be no more! I do not know what inspires me or thy script or why this came upon me this day? Relieve it! Allow it!as I so surrendered to it! In Jesus name Amen pon  it!
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I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent as I repent and surrender to the forgiveness power and purpose life is!
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Amen this day(as I have learnt from others to say) and for always if there is nothing else I can ever do in this life with my life, I surrender this poem as an Amen!
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Amen!
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For Freedoms Sake!
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In the name of the Father Son and Holy Ghost and for however and with whatever anyone else will supplement those 3 with, amen!
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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My Comment:

Whilst I was creating this poem on 17/08/2021/20:00ish @ #hamiltonservices #M74 almost if by joke I almost forgot to pay for parking! There's me writing by prayer about my own wishes and perceptions about  money and the reflection was in my own memory. Thankfully, I am fully aware my written work reflect me first and whatever I'm going thtough. Written works is what I use to self-heal. 

Due to my own internal struggles I have long combined my experiences of abuse with financial perceptions because I grew up so self conscious of how sometimes warped and worst of all limited my financial perceptions were and application of resources are at times. Especially as I feel I want to do much better when it comes to time management especially within limited amounts of time. Thankfully, I still get things done and sometimes when you think you can speed ahead life can sometimes remind you nothing happens until it is meant too! 

But still the question remains: if thought creates why did humanity create death as an option? 

Remember: these are creative works only!
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@naturalflowismstudios
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Fanaticism: ASIN:B096C6862R
A book in Progress 
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Monday, 9 August 2021

inBetween Fanatiscism 1987-2007-2021 wHere is the uPdate?

If there is nothing inside everything is created outside?
He tried to plead sanity off the backs of the emotionally disturbed physically abused financially   impoverished he alone created a lack of humanity...but..was he covering up something else like the lack of female success he creates soon after his presence has been felt...an undercurrents of absolute range and hatred not only for himself but everybody else? Or is he a possible victim or survivor of female incest? Rape? Or molestation or something else? Why does he continue to harbour  such jealous hate? Is he the silent witness to the murder only he knows he covertly and tactically yet tacitly  committed?
Hate it if you are lying all the time and you have got no truth to show at the end of it! But what and who does that  really mean? What does that rreally relate too?
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Obsessiveness about creating or having an image exists because nothing else is naturally  or internally present?
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You cannot?  or may be you can? take an illness out of a disorder dis-ease or brain damage and make it into authority or power simply because of its grip on what is of monetary value? Is that what for so many years so many have tried to do? Whilst deep in the need to let go of those with no ability to accurately relate relay translate or understand information correctly? Within that plight is that deeply damaging phrase too all to often too many of us have failed to understand  the impact and damage it has cause our lives! How many times have we unwittingly  shown someone no care or understanding by saying and asking: isn’t it obvious? Or I thought it would be obvious!
In the name of knowledge about brain health how dare any of us say or even ask?
If someone struggles with perception due to injury and yet that person leads the appearance of a normal life making choices unaware of the extent of they are perception are off balance! How dare we ask or presume what is obvious for those who cannot even perceive social cues? It would be so violent to the person for anyone to presume what is obvious to them or is not obvious to them, and what's more could never be obvious to them because quite natural they do not possess the brain function to perceive what is presumed to be generally obvious to all those who do not lack that particular brain function! Isn't hat more correct? Especially for those who suffer in life as a result of their injuries when it comes to having no grip on what is generally thought to be accurate perception least of all because theu appear to be coping with life just as successfully as everybody else!
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Until you have learnt each individuals ability to perceive learn or understand is on the same page as everybody else  nothing is obvious to anyone! Brain damage trauma injury forcible mental emotional spiritual and financial perceptions disturbances due to abuses all affect how an individual  can see something as obvious or not!
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I need to address this/ you done mash up my life/ distracted me from my loved ones/ destroyed my reputation so i don’t stand a chance/ you cost me so much and then you can’t ever pay it back it's not that they don't  know how you feel....they are doing things to deliberately make you feel things you do not want to feel!

...its just hard for them to believe you've been had
Not by a lover
But trapped within the years of a conniving stalker with a ton of supporters no one else is willing to perceive or see!
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Fanatiscism:ASIN:B096C6862R
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Thursday, 26 November 2020

Fanaticism Passage 27

Cover...
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The world has come on a bit since the beginning of inventions
They invented the pound which will have absolutely no value if produced in high quanity which will allow just about anybody to live abundantly if printed made easy?!
Seriously!
Are you gonna tell no one has caught on to the biggest sadistic murderous trick known to man?
Money
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Of all the things the world has invented you gonna tell all this time no one can come up with a Monterey  system that will not devalue due to quantity or scale?
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In this whole amount of time with people walking and running fast fast with brief case busy busy in the city not starting only speaking the middle
"If we print print like that the value of currency will go down
Instead of looking at how much time that has gone by creating lack like fact!!
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Its the same vexations I am having with my own inner self in my own personal worls whilst deep in thankfulness and gratitude know that without any doubt but as well this is not just me its on the mind of many!
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Fucking eeking and peetering it out like funking bird fucking food and the forest is still fricking full of it
Everybody's is talking in the middle the currency value is gonna go down well that was back then how well healed was anybody back then?
You would fink if it got fucking started as what it is it can change from what it is I can't understand how that is not some first flip?
It seems like such an ignigma to me
That those with a much quicker and clearer brain processing and mind function just wouldn't see divide and conquer from devalue to appreciating values?
Of this is not comprehensive cooperate fact or knowledge 
Its part of a simple poetry book
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All the things which has been invented up until now that has changed all our lives and yet still...
...something feels like it has snapped and it can so easy-ish to change
Not that creating a financial construction or infrastructure is easy not that I would know
But what has become of money  does not have to be so brain and soul destroying either.
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Boy, I don't know what has come over me but this has been with me for some time. 
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Since seeing certain boundaries just thrown down toward my life
Things on a personal level I did not mean to allow happen but had no strength to do anything else or allow certain individuals to get away with violations against me which should have been followed up and through a correct system. If you do stop serial sex offenders they become more angry and possibly even more subtle but it never just ends there unfortunately 
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Its strength and behaviour patterns which get all tied up 
And now its mens rea
And maybe as well that it may also be that brunette man on the tube train all those years ago as I was going up down and around town getting to work who sat with a large baggy coat feathered neck length hair blatantly holding a brand new pack of what looked like minted money sat across from me looking focused but daze was he trying to show me something so obvious about what world change is?
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I dare you!
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I dare you to see flip it change it and stop talking about what isn't as if is!
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Just for being a Poet of sorts theres back lash misinterpretation, the how dare she! Possessiveness's over expression...but hey!
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